Ich liebe Berlin...

I remember that sunny afternoon. He was in the 9th grade, reading his Science-II State board textbook. For the younger ones who are reading this post, we didnt have Physics, Chemistry and Biology separate those days. 'Those days', this sure sounds old!

So, on this sunny morning, there was this intelligent guy (with a thirst for knowledge) going through the periodic table... He was good. And he knew it. As he was going through the periodic table, something caught his eye.

Tungsten was represented with the letter 'W'. W? not T, not Tg, but W. Why? He got to the root of it...

Today, the same uber cool guy, today in an unknown land, on a very sleepy afternoon, was asked the same question

German Sir: I dont know the name of that metal... its called Wolfram in German...

Out of deep slumber woke our hero, our uber cool guy (UCG)...

UCG: Its Tungsten...

Sir: Tung.. what?

UCG: Tungsten...

Sir: How... what.. How do you know that? (true exclamation)

UCG: I dont know... I am just plain awesome...

Girls admired him with loving affection... Guys wanted to be like him...Yes, that plain awesome guy, that uber cool guy... is me... (obviously)

Then there guys who come to me and ask...

Curious foreign guy: Hey Chai-tania, how do you say 'Fuck' in Indian...

Uber cool Indian guy (me) : There is no language called - Indian...

The nice guy that I am, I almost always enlighten them... its fun I tell ya..

The best part is my calculation abilities... I solve calculations before you can say - Ich liebe Berlin...

There was this question, very simple question, and the professor was like, Have you brought your calculators, and I solved it in like 3 seconds... Between surprised chuckles and awe and respect, yours truly was surrounded...

Okay, now that I have made myself sound good and established my utter supremacy over you mere mortals (which is the whole point of this post and in greater sense, this blog) let me talk some (more) meaningful talks..
but you will have to wait until the next post.. ;-)

Auf Wiedersehen

2 guys, a girl and "Con Panna"

Last sunday I met some of my oldies. I call them my oldies coz i have known them for more than 9 years now...And as it goes with old friends, it was great fun...

Some musings
*Powai doesnt have half the outlets tht Nirmals does!
*Powai still is a lot of fun
*Its fun with your old friends even when you have nothing to talk about and nowhere to go...
* Your friends know you too well to see through you when u are lying..
*You can talk bout anything to them
Chaitanya: Some guys make me wanna be a girl (@#$#! did I say tht out loud?)
Harish: whaaa?
Sandy: ewww.. (Yeah! I had said tht out loud..)
Chaitanya: er..well George clooney and John Stamos...and my German boss (shit! did i hav to say his name!!)
Sandy: ewww..
*Well maybe you cant talk bout everything with them

*The problem with ppl who know you inside out is tht they judge you before hearing you out..

*Its bloody hot in Mumbai! Sunday was the hottest day in the last 45 yrs in the history of mumbai! (38.2deg C is the recorded temp in Santacruz..Powai is hotter..In Mulund it feels like an oven...I have a tendency to exaggarate).. Switch on the air cons ppl!

*Its fun when there r two guys and a girl! Coz when I say sumthing stupid, trust Harish to come up with something equally foolish.. Makes me look a lot better

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention..(Ah! genius!)

*Mochas is absurdly costly!
Sandy : I will have the "cookie crumble"
Chaitanya: tereko cost patah hai? Rs.95!! (I can be quite a chindi if i want too)
Harish: I hope you know, ur cookie is gonna be this big (his fingers denoting the size of a 5 rupee coin)

We being the smart ones called for the- "Con panna" for Rs.40! Nice choice we thought..When we got our orders we found the "Con panna" is called so for a reason. You see, its a CON! The size of the cup was smaller than the cups which come with the Barbie friends set!
(My female friends hav passed me on this info..I havent even touched Barbie till date..er..well..maybe once or twice..)

Sandy got her cookie crumble, the size of cream on which resembled the hills tht overlooked Powai..
Bloody Mochas..
Just to add, we mowed down half the hills from Sandy cup...Lifes so fair..

*There are many firangs roaming around in Powai..With not many hotels around, I wonder where they come from..

*All my friends have topped their respective trades sometime or the other...For eg - Harish topped school..Sandy topped the univ last yr... In most parts of the world having such friends would classify me as a loser but I can safely say they are not as geeky as their portfolios sound..

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention (Did I mention tht already?)

*No matter how much u like the guy and how much you miss each other, u cant hug at the end of the day
Chaitanya: akward hug or cool guy handshake?
Harish: cool guy handshake for sure!
Stangely enough ask a girl this and you get a stare tht will make sunny deol pee in his pants

Its been a great 9 years with you guys...We have been through good and bad times together.. We might not hav a lot of time for each other more so as we get involved further with our respective careers and stuff... But I just want you guys to know, phone calls or no phone calls, mails or no mails, we will remain friends forever...
I hope I be there when Harish gets married and stuff (and stuff? :P).. I hope to be there when Sandy has a daughter (I m sure u gonna have a daughter...)
And hope we be there after our retirement and then we talk about all the fun we had when we were 20 over a cup of...er..."Con Panna"?? :)

I-am-what-I-am!

One of my friends says that I never talk about myself... I got this in an email from her, and decided to put it up on the blog...



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? - my name means one who is always happy (as if u didnt know!)... Its not a noun, its an adjective used for God

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? - Men dont cry! We hunt..We kill duck..We eat raw meat..We no cry! (sic)

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? - yes, its another thing tht others dont :P

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL? - i like dal chawal with buttermilk and a lot of other side dishes (wht? i like to eat!)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? - none tht i know of!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? - Yeah, i am a nice guy!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? - with close friends only

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes ..

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? - No..if AXN and world's most amazing videos have taught me anything, i wouldnt!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? - Nope..dont like any

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? - hahahaah...i love this one..no, i dont!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? - yeah...though not ass-kicking strong, i am strong enuf not to let my ass get kicked

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? - coffee almond

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? - depends on whether the person is a guy or a girl!

15. RED OR PINK? - Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? - tht i find it difficult to dedicate myself to one thing..this is my least fav thing bout myself

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? -my kid cousin sister..miss her big time..noones here to laugh at my silly jokes now..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? yep

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? - grey pants and no shoes (why was this ques included? )

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? -uttapa.....

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Pehli Nazar by Atif Aslam from Race...imagine me listening to a hindi song! But this ones the best since Doorie..

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? - Fluorescent Orange..I rem kids fighting over it..

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? - Dettol, Jai soap, the Cologne tht u get on Indian Airlines flights, tea (when its being made), Gillette roll-on, petrol, wall paint

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? - Akshay Sukhtankar.. hes a classmate who now works in the same firm as me..

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? - yeah i do..shes pretty cool

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? - liked F1 but lost interest since Schumi retired. Now that he is making a comeback, im very happy albeit not in a scarlet team, Scuderia Ferrari

27. HAIR COLOR? Black, pitch black

28. EYE COLOR? - black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? - yes, i do..

30. FAVORITE FOOD? - anything thts vegetarian and spicy will do..i hav a weakness for paneer and mushrooms

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? - happy endings..i love them (I hope I dont come across as girlish )

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? - Mithya..loved it, except the ending....

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? - dark blue Tshirt, actually its Rollos-Royce plc Tee...

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? -summers.. May vacations if I can get them..

35. HUGS OR KISSES? - Cant I get both? Hugs I guess..

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? - i love them all... i like to have puran poli, fruit salad, gulab jamun etc

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - Chaitanya!

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - hero, boss , guru :P

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? - blink! It was given to me by a friend, and the literary genius tht i am, i hav been trying to complete it from the last 1 month

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? - er..a mouse!!?

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? - Simpsons, My wife and Kids and Sarabhai vs Sarabhai

42. FAVORITE SOUND? - bagpiper, guitar, birds chirping, mooing cows with bells round their necks

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? - Havent heard them.. But arent Rolling stones those skinny guys with swollen lips..why are they so hyped?

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? - I hav been to London for 6 months and i really got bored... I hope this is not one of those philosophical questions...

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? - Yeah, i can climb up walls and stop high speed trains with my left hand.. (Wht? i live in the territory of Rajnikanth. This is normal!)

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a hospital

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? - yours

I love the whole world : The song rocks

She stood there on the bridge looking at the green ocean below.. He stood beside her, looking at her.. The cars wizzed past them.. Cement rails seperated the walkway from the busy freeway... Its weird that on the busy 6-lane bridge, they were all alone..The wind played with her hair, not letting them stay in place.. She tucked a strand behind her ear.. He wished he could do that for her...

"Why is the ocean green?", she asked innocently..
"Oh.. thats coz of green algae.. Algae is responsible for 70% of the world's total oxygen through photosynthesis.. ", he answered.. Too much reading does that to you...
"Kya re.. You are such an engineer..."
"Oh.. so you want the not-so-scientific answer.."
"Yeah.. "
"Hmm.. Well, the ocean is green with envy.."
"With Envy?", she asked, kinda surprised to hear that..
"Yeah.. It envies me.."
"You? Why? What have you got that he doesnt..?"
"I got you..", he smiled..
"Oh.. Thats so mushy.. ", she said trying to supress a blush..
"I ll never get girls! When I give her a scientific answer, she calls me nerdy.. When I give her a romantic answer, she calls me a softie! Girls I tell you!"
"Its so beautiful na.. the ocean..I like the ocean.. and the mountains.."
"You know what I like?"
"What?"
"You!"
"That line never gets old!"
"Wants you to break into a song, doesnt it?"
"Really?"
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
To be sung on The Discovery channel: I love the world theme..The Pink lines are to be sung by the girl (If you have a girl around that is!) The blue ones are to be sung by the guy!! (obviously!..)

hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
I love the ocean..
I love the mountains..
I love the birds that fly..
I love the fountains..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

I love when you look at me..
I love the deep blue sea..
This is where memories rest..
My thoughts be undressed..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

I love the beach sand..
I love when you hold my hand...
I wish we could live here...
Your wish.. My command..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

I love the setting sun..
I wish it could wait a while..
I love the winters..
I love your dimpled smile..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

Whenever we can...We gonna sing this song..
I am astonished, how did we work this on!
Arent we getting late.. now that the sun has set..
Its just six twenty.. I m so sure I can bet..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..

"That was great!"
"Care to do it again?"
"Really?"

hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa.

Of Holi and that confession thingy

When I was very young, probably in the fourth or the fifth grade, my dad would pack me downstairs with a small bucket full of water balloons to play holi with my friends. Now as far as I remember, I was a shy guy (arre sacchi!). I didnt have many friends. So while all the other kids would be busy colouring each other, a drawing class gone wrong, I would wonder how to enter the colour fest. I mean how do you go about throwing water balloons at people you dont know very well. I used to stand in the corner wondering how to get into the commotion. After half an hour of standing there, I would turn around to go back home, but just so that I dont look like a complete loser to my dad, I would throw a few balloons on cars, and a few on myself, to look the part. Then I would return home, soaked in the colour of three balloons I splashed myself with, take a bath and have puranpoli for lunch.

What I didnt know is that my dad used to watch me from our third floor apartment, while I went on throwing balloons on cars and drenching myself in colour. He didnt say a word.

***

My best holi were the ones I played with my cousins. The night before the holi day, we sat in the bathroom stocking ammunition. I filled balloons with water using my new nagraj brand pichkari, while Aroop expertly tied knots to the balloons. He had names for all types of knots. Floppy knot, army knot, super knot..
"Arre main aisa knot bandhega na, Michael Jackson bhi nahi khol paayega", Aroop used to say.
"Michael Jackson kaun hai?", I asked. I didnt have cable then. My favourite shows included Phulwari bachon ki on DD1.
"Abbe Michael Jackson nahi malum? kya dance karta hai bey woh.."
Its amazing how highly kids thought of him. And who can blame them, I mean of the 6.5 billion people in the world, how many have turned snow white from jet black?
Aroop (I know you are secretly reading this), you were such a showoff! :P But not his mistake entirely if you ask me, this is what cable TV did to a lotta boys during the 90s.

***

Our colony, had two cricket groups the "bade log" and the "chotte log". My problem was that I fell in the age group which was common to both. But I chose to play in the chotte log, coz they played underarm cricket and I didnt know how to bowl overarm then and also it was easier to win there. What? Dont judge me! I like to win!

I shifted base to bade log at the start of the 7th std. I had taken a liking to overarm cricket inspite of the fact that I was terrible at batting and couldnt bowl 6 legitimate deliveries without giving away 20 extras. Anyhow, it was Bablu, who was usually the captain of my side, who had deep rooted confidence in me. How else do you explain a newbie bowler like me getting the first over in every match. As I excelled in the following years, it was as much as a triumph for him as it was for me. I have opened bowling several times now, even so for my team in college, but it still doesnt compare with the thrill that I used to experience when Bablu tossed me the ball.
Over the years I have taken Bablu's place and tried to do for kids like Debu and Nachiket what Bablu did for me. Its such a high to see them grow into such good players.

***

During my engineering, holi became just another holiday. Since last year when I started working, it ceased to be even that. I spent the that holi in the office. Ofcourse we did throw a little customary colour around. Too bad our German boss took a leave that day (clever fellow), we had decided to give him a taste of Indian festivities (if you know what I mean). So we spent the day working a little and forwarding mails a lot, which is good thing, coz the next day I had my friends (who worked in Indian companies which were more considerate to their needs of soaking themselves in colour on holi) send me queries like -
"Dude? yesterday wasnt a holiday??"
To which I replied - "Nahi re, was in the office. "
"hehe, dude!! no holiday on holi-day?? hehe he"(yeah, thats the level of jokes we crack)
"No re, had to work.. Have to finish this project before the German boss leaves for home. If I dont the assembly line in Berlin will have serious problems. Thousands of euros down the drain I tell you."
"Doood!!!"
He was in deep awe. He must have thought that I was the VP (Assembly lines) Rolls-Royce Deutschland. Here, it should be noted that he was an IT guy and for him assembly lines was pretty much the lines we stood in before the morning prayer back in school.
But I did hear him telling my other friends - "Abbe! Chaitanya kaam karta hai bey!!"(his eyes and the eyes of the one hearing this statement as big as saucers)

***

Last confession - I am planning to celebrate this holi with my cousins, it gonna be fun. I know for a fact that Aroop's favourite isnt MJ any more. So I wont get any - "Abbe Michael Jackson nahi malum? kya dance karta hai bey woh..". He might ask me questions on Metallica though- showoff I tell you :P
My dad is abroad so he wont be joining us. But I would be cool even if he was there. Coz now whatever happens, I wont splash myself with balloons to look the part...

Happy Holi everyone.

Plan and effect!

I was thinking about the events and happenings that lead to me getting into Rolls-Royce plc. Was it tough? How much of hard work did I have to put in?... I cant help but replay the 2 years that I have spent in RR.

My work here is almost done. I am the technical lead now. Quite frankly, I didnt think I would be able to. I would be lying if I say that I didnt think about running off from Bangalore into the cosy, humid confines of Mumbai everytime RR pushed me into a corner and boxed the daylights out of me. It is BY FAR the TOUGHEST work profile in the country. We read these posts about software guys trying to justify how tough their life is, and end up laughing... If this project had gone for another 8 months, (along with some basic physical training) we would have been ready to take down the entire Al Qaeda Army or something.

I remember what all I had planned before I came here. Some plans:

-Will watch one movie everyday.

-Will watch lots of sitcoms

-Will learn to play tennis

-Will go running around the campus every morning (I later changed it to evening, who ll get up in the morning yaar?)

-Will try to learn, rather than just execution of tasks

-Will get to know more about the culture of Bangalore

-Will learn more about people in Bangalore

-Will be a better friend

-Will be the coolest guy I know (I have always been that)

-Will try out new things

-Will try local cuisine
-Will try to learn the local language

Now lets see if the plans materialized or not. Some effects:

-Watch one movie everyday??! I would consider myself lucky if I could see one in a week. The schedule is killing. Sleep doesnt come easy even to someone like me who values it a lot!

-Well, I did manage to watch a few seasons of a couple of sitcoms.

Fell in love with 'That 70s show' and 'Seinfeld'. Saw a bit of Scrubs too.

- Learn to play tennis? Just got enough time for a game. Nailed a German friend of mine in that game. Okay, thats a lie. I am awesome, but not Rajnikanth.

-Hmm.. I did run around the campus, but to submit reports, Technical Variances etc.

-I did a better job of learning than what I did in engineering. Infact, I am kinda proud of myself :)

-Got to know the culture of Bangalore... hated it..

-Got to know the people, hated them even more.

-I think this time I was better friend than what I normally have. I will leave this one for the friends at RR.

-I AM the coolest guy I know, so no surprises there.

-Tried out a lot of new things... lots..

hated the local cuisine - rasam bhat, sambar, chitranna rice, mysore pak, etc etc
- Did manage to get a hang of local language

So, some of my plans have been realized, others not. The ones requiring time, have been difficult to realize.

What is the point of this post? Abbe? Har time story hi chahiye kya? Sometimes hamari bhi sun liya karo!

Anyway, time for me to leave.

Take care. Have fun.

Of gujjus, colours and Holi

Holi cow! Holi is approaching & I havent had the opportunity to celebrate this colourful festival for a couple of years but this year i definitely will…Talking of colours, I think gujjus neednt buy any colours, coz they already are so colourful! You see, I had about 10 gujjus in my class,all of them colourful.. But here I would like to mention only two of them…The first one would be Siddharth Ashara (bhai).

Well bhai, is one of the colourful guys you will ever to see! The spects keep changing according to the latest fashions. Right now it is thick, big, spread out and black, like Uday Chopra's in Pyaar Impossible (dont blame him for watching such kinda movies with such kinda actor, its hereditary)…His Cell phone models change as frequently as Aamir changes his hairstyles! Has a wardrobe full of colours like red, blue, green, yellow!

However the most colourful, the one who takes the cake here and eats it too is Mr.Suril Shah! For starters he has a PURPLE(?) Pulsar with his name printed across it!!. He is a legend when it comes colourfulness…There are stories about him having yellow shoes (personally I dont think it is true..). Shirts in all colours from pink to green! He has even tried a blond streaks in his hair…The only other Indian guy I know who used blond streaks in his hair is…er…umm…no one! Suril is the only guy who could easily pull it off! Pretty normal for a guy whose favourite actress is Amisha Patel!
The whole point of this posts is that my friends are so colourful normally, I wonder how they look on Holi! I remember after last years holi which i wasnt a part of, Sid’s face had different hues of red for about a month! What colours do they use there
in Charni Road (Sid’s home) - Asian Paints??

P.S-Gala would wanna feature on the list,but sorry mate, Suril is a tough contender!
Pushkar wouldnt even qualify…He is too sombre…
Jags, vishal, Abhal, Sahil better luck next time!

Dhiren, you are in a league of your own.. Taking your name in this blog, will be like your tauheen :P

Another P.S.-The above post is to be taken sportingly…
Comments invited!!