Shopping in the Ladies section...

Picture this - You are roaming around in a mall..In and out the overpriced showrooms... Shelf shopping through the Mens section..

Shelf shopping coz you are still in the last year of college and cant afford this stuff... You are going through the different types of shirts and jeans that are on the shelf..Denims are in, six pockets are out, or capris are they called?

And whats with the commando prints? What guy in the right state of mind would wear something like that.?! Just then a middleaged uncle with a paunch to show for walks by you wearing the same commando shirt.. Hmm... thts the kind of guy!!

You are browsing through the casuals section, then on to the Formals, then accessories and then you stand at the entrance of that section of the mall where thou haventh venturedth yetth - The ladies section.. You dare not enter.. There are women all around and there are clothes, all girlie clothes and there are a few men giving company to their respective ladies.. every third guy has a baby balanced precariously on his right arm..

You look at those men.. You knell down..God.. Please dont let me one of those men.. Please dont ever make me enter this section..ever..

Then you see men at the payment counter.. Paying for the shopping escapades of their girlfriends, wives or sisters..

You think to yourself, what kinda sucker buys from stores this overpriced!! These men into high paying jobs, loaded with money, pushing consumerism to the limit.. You think to yourself, When I start earning, I will not spend in such overpriced stores..

You see a guy with 3 bags at the counter.. He has a lady with him, shes going through the dresses in the bag... Theres a smile on her face which refuses to quit..

You look at the guy...You cant help feeling sorry for the guy.

He swipes his credit card.. turns back and looks at you looking at him.. and smiles..
That story..




One year hence, you have a job.. Amongst design software and hard core Engineering there is no time for shelf shopping.. You have decent salary and your bank account has started to smile..

The sister has to pursue a professional course and needs a few new dresses.. Now the sister does believe in my taste when it comes to apparel, this is one the very few things she gives me credit for..

So she decides to punch my smiling bank account in the face.. she took (read dragged) me to the costliest showroom in this part of the world..

We entered the mall.. We passed through the Mens section, casual wear then formal wear.. We were getting closer, then came the accessories section.. There I was standing at entrance of the section where men had their salaries drained... hours spent... credit cards maxed..

While I had a grave look on my face calculating how much this was gonna cost me, the sister was as excited as a kid in a amusement park!!

So wht are you looking for?
Party wear..!
What? You are getting into a Professional college.. You think theres gonna be time for parties?!
I just want this one dress..
Oh..ok..
For the rest of the formal ones we will come back again..
Whaaa?

My eyes started searching for discounts.. Where were all the discounts when you needed them?
I saw some % sign at a distance.. I was pulled by its magnetic presence to its direction.. 40% discount.. Cool.. Just what I needed.. Checked out some tops there.. Rs.1940.. Hmm.. 40% off on 1940, that is..er.. A pretty salesgirl stood there smiling..
"Sir, that is the discounted price.."


I lost my love for arithmetic after that.. I just stood there looking at salesgirl for 1 minute, then at the top for another minute, then looking at her again for one minute.. then she got bored of the routine and left..

The sister by that time had found 3 dresses she liked..She handed me the three dresses to hold while she shopped for more..

I thought u didnt like green..
Oh I meant emerald green.. this is bottle green..
I see..
Yeah..

The sister was getting deeper and deeper into the section. You see, the ladies section is pretty much like a city. On the outskirts of the city you get cheap (relatively) real estate.. But as you move deeper into the city, the real estate prices shoot up.. Similarly, the cost of apparels increases as you keep going deeper and deeper.. Then we arrived at the "core" area.. The Nariman point of the ladies section.. This section is usually occupied by 30 somethings businesswomen or iit-iim grads who earn enough to make grown men cry!

An hour later we had found around 5-6 dresses (some of which were from the "core" area) which she had to try on..I had three tops on my left hand, a maroon, peach and a black number.. On the right hand had I had a green, er I mean bottle green top, a pink one and a off-white one..

Then came the trying on the dresses.. You are allowed only 2 dresses inside the changing room...Here comes my part in the evening...the brother has to stand out with the rest of the 4 dresses and has to approve of the dresses he finds classy enough for his sister to wear..

So I am standing there outside the ladies changing room.. And getting those stares you get when you accidentally board a female compartment in the local train..!


I take this opportunity to go through the price tags.. All 4 digit price tags all of a sudden seemed less classy to me :P And yes, that included even the ones with "cheeky" prices like Rs.995.. I
mean even a 5th grader knows that trick..

After a gruesome half an hr of trying on the dresses, we zeroed in on one black number which I can safely say was the classiest of all dresses we had chosen..

Half an hour of alterations on the dress and we were ready to move on to the payment counter..
As the sister was busy adoring her dress, I was shelling out a few big Mahatmas..

I looked around I saw some college students looking at me.. Giving me that look, the look that I thought I had invented..

And I looked at the sister.. Still adoring her dress.. A smile adoring her face.. All grownup she was, all of 18 years, but I still see her as an 8 yr old who needs me to fetch things for her.. And all those mahatmas be damned, I would give them away for that smile.. And those college guys will know only when their sisters ask them to buy a dress for her... They will realise that its all worth it..

I swiped my credit card.. turned back and looked at the college guys looking at me.. and smiled..
That Story..

The Judge's Daughter

Short story

She joined school after the first midterm in the 8th grade.. Public schools are pretty strict when it comes to joining school on time. Her dad must a big shot, Rahul thought..

She was cute, petite, had short shoulder length hair.. She was confident, very sure of herself...

The class teacher introduced her as Kritika Rajan.. Kritika gave a friendly smile..

Rahul noticed her cute dimples.. Now Rahul wasnt a dimples guy.. never was.. But he couldnt stop staring at her as she smiled. Rahul was the tallest guy in the class, so he always took the last bench, Kritika took the third bench. Good for him, coz he could steal a glance or two everytime she smiled and those dimples flashed..

She had asked Rahul for his Geometry notes.. Apparently, Rahul's teachers had high regard for the guy, they had suggested Kritika to get his notes to cover up for all the portion she had missed the last semester.. Rahul was obviously too happy to help...
She came fuming to Rahul the next day...
"I dont get your handwriting.."
"Arre, samjha woh likh.. baki drawing nikal! hehawhaw"
"Shut up.."
Clearly, it was not the right time..
"Okay, what didnt u get?"
"This word - 'cle' Whats tht?"
"cle- cle means 'circle'!!Thats called Rahul shorthand!!" Rahul shrugged..
"Ooookay.. whats 'rle'?"
"Rectangle!"
"Oh.. and 'tle' is er.. triangle?"
"Way to go girl.."
"Oh.. hmm.. hey, can u please wait after school to help me understand more of your shorthand? Please! Pretty please!"
Now how could anyone say no to that!!

That evening, among congruent and similar triangles, she opened up to him.. She talked bout her favourite movies, the sitcoms she watched, how much she loved Tv and why..

Rahul never met her father, but was pretty sure she was her father's daughter.. She was honest, strong willed, tough..
Her dad was a high court judge, and now was on the special bench for political cases. He must be an honest guy.. They dont transfer someone at a post that high that often.. Kritika later told him that she had changed 5 schools in the last 7 years. She had stayed in Nagpur, Aurangabad, Solapur, Pune and now mumbai.. she hadnt spent more than 2 years at any one place. She had very few friends, most of them in Pune, where her dad was last placed.



There was this place behind the school building.. It was like a very small playground, with a single swing, a slide, an incredibly small see-saw and a cement bench, for the teacher to sit and govern the pre-primary kids... He had seen the kids play there in the small sandy place. It seemed big when he saw them kids play there, but now that Rahul was sitting there waiting for her, the place seemed too small.. kinda cosy..

She came, she wore a pink sweater.. weird are these ppl who come from Pune.. After the freezing cold of Pune, they still find the need to wear sweaters in Mumbai! But then, Rahul didnt mind, she looked hot in that pink sweater..

"You have cute dimples.."
"What?"
"Your dimples.. they are cute.."
Its weird how a girl who is that tough around others melts when shes around someone she likes..
"No they are not..", she tried to look away, trying to suppress a blush..
"Yes they are.."
"Noooo", the more she tried not to, the more she blushed..
"Yes they are.."
"No, they arent.."
"Yes they are"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


Back in school they behaved like total strangers.. Ofcourse there was a glance here and a wink there.. but they made sure not to come within 1 metre of each other.. The fact that no one knew about them made it more thrilling!

They started meeting every evening behind the school after school..
She always wore that pink sweater, now, even more coz she knew Rahul liked it on her..
"You got nice hair.. and pretty eyes.."
Its weird how naive these 8th grade boys are! No creativity they got I tell you..
"Nooo.. No one has told me that before.."
"Well, I am telling you now.."
"No, they arent that pretty.."
"Yes they are.."
"No"
"Yes"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


December days get kinda chilly, even in Mumbai.. That day it was a bit chilly.. Even Rahul wore a sweater to school that day.. he normally thought he was too cool to wear one! He looked at Kritika who was sitting on the third bench.. she looked lovely as ever..

He kept looking at her throughout the Geometry and Science class.. Restlessness grew within him as last lecture of the day was approaching.. He wanted to be alone with her.. Talk bout stuff.. bout what he loved.. his fears.. his dreams...

The bell rang.. After everyone had left the school, he went to the playground at the back of the building..
She was sitting there.. The golden sun rays of the evening sun were falling on her face.. her dark hair looked golden brown in the sunlight.. It was very cold, she was wearing her pink sweater.. He could stand there looking at her all his life..

She looked at him.. Something wasnt right.. or so it seemed..
He sat beside her..

"Whats wrong.."
"My dad’s getting transferred.."
"Again?"
"Yep..This is my last week in the school.. My dad will be transferred to Nagpur"

She was taking it amazingly well..

"What? But it has been only three months!"
"Oh.. I know"
"You wont miss me?"
"No, why?."

This was weird.. didn’t she feel anything for him..

"Not even a little?"
"Umm.. a little.. maybe.."
He saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes..

"You liar.. You not going anywhere, are you.."
"I sooo got you there..haha"
"Stop laughing meano.."
"Nahi re, my dad is getting transferred.. But I am staying with my Grandmom.."
"I m not even talking to you.."
"Aaww, I am so sorry re.. sorry sorry sorry.. "

She must have said sorry bout 9 times.. And there must be guys reading this thinking that it doesn’t make things better.. but trust me, it does..

Rahul’s heart melted..

Its not fair.. Men were made taller and stronger.. Men fight, eat with their hands, drink from the carton.. What was bout these girls that made men all soft inside.. damn..

"Not fair..You cant do it to me.. I like you"

It was the first time he said that to her. Both of them knew it, but it was the first time he said it to her..

"I like you too.. more than you like me.. "
"No, I like you more.."
"No, I like you more.. "
"Nope, I do.."


The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...

She smiled, Rahul’s heart melted. He had won the argument.. But something he lost.. And he was not sure what..

She held his arm close to her and placed her head gently on his shoulders…
Last time I saw them, they were just 14 year olds, with dreams in their eyes.. and maybe.. one day... they got married...., and had kids and yes..., like all good stories go.. They lived happily ever after...


________________________________________________________
I am a sucker for happy endings.. Something didnt seem right in the last story. So I changed the ending..

Rolls-Royce plc round up

Hello to all the dudes. And love to all the girls who have been visiting this page everyday for the past 1 month. Well all your wishes have come true. I am here.

I am done with my project... for now atleast. Within 4 weeks, it ll come back knocking on my door.. like those seniors knocking on our door in the induction week in your college, to wake us up at 4:30 for little firangiri.

After almost an age and a half, I slept for 10 straight hours. I woke up to a huge breakfast. Slept again. Took a bath, more than a record 25 minutes. Slept again. Woke up for a heavy lunch. And now I am here. Sitting outside my room facing the terrace, enjoying the warmth of the Sun and the chill of the evening air, and thanking God for inventing Wi-Fi.

The funny thing about this post is that I was supposed to write it last month, when my last assignment got over. But I slept then, because I was sleep deprived. Once the weekend after the busy schedule gets over, you never get time to do anything. Now this may seem to be a usual workaholic cliche. But in this case, its not.

Heard professionals whine about scarcity of time and lack of sleep? Well, those guys have 40 hours a week... We at Rolls-Royce plc, although have the same billing hours, we work for more than 70 hours a week! More hours also mean more deliverables, more challenges and more targets! And that is why we have training every 4 weeks. Compared to my life, the normal life that other software professionals live around the country live is Disneyland. And this crib is in line with my philosophy - What I do is more difficult than what you do! :-P

So all those guys who are mad at me for not being able to comment on their blogposts, I rest my case.

But this isnt a crib post, this post is a feel good post... feel good for YOU that is! But seriously, Rolls-Royce isn’t all about hard work... umm.. it is actually.. But its majorly RR- Repair & Design division who has it so bad, but then they get to work abroad, proving Timberlake's age-old line of thought- "what goes around comes back around" :P

I have a stack of unread Economic times on my table that I plan to read. I have been collecting them since a week now. Last week, I didnt really get the time.
Today, after my bath, I cut my nails. It took me only 10 minutes. Believe me you, I had been planning when to cut them all week. After I was done, I wondered, why was I actually planning a thing this trivial?! Then I realised, its all about priorities.. Its always a tradeoff...

What do I do? Should I read that article I had been planning to or should I shave my 3 day old stubble? Should I sleep for another 20 minutes or research on that assignment. Should I read the newspaper or work on that ppt slide? Should I study over the weekend or join the folks over for a trip to Kasauli? Everything, you see, is a tradeoff..

But its not always bad. Sometimes I choose a trip to Kasauli(a hill station near Shimla) over working. And its great fun... Come to think of it, even reading and studying and working on projects isnt too bad. Actually its kinda fun. You have to be creative and different from your peers. There isnt anything thats right or wrong, there are just different ways of doing it.

Now for example, this is something that I plan to work on - "The ratio in which the fairer sex checks itself out in the mirror, compared to the male, when presented with an opportunity"

You will be amazed by how nerdy I am gonna sound for the next para or so. I can already see the girls who used to hide behind trees to have a glimpse of me turning their laptops off. But dont. Listen to this.
The other day, in the 15 minute break that we get between serial working hours, I was having coffee, resting my already tired body, tired beacuse of attending 4 telecons on the trot, against the wall facing the door of the building. For the RR guys who are reading this post, the building I am talking about is 'Thomas Edison'. (yeah we name our place of work with some nerdy names, not my school of thought). This is a centrally AC building. It has reflective glass doors. The ones that allow the people inside the building to see the ones who are outside, but not vice-versa.

So I was standing opposite to the door. One door was open, the other was closed. As people entered the building I noted that they looked at the close door. Some just look, some touch their hair. But something was peculiar about this. The girls did this more. I was confused for like a minute. But then the coffee kicked in. I realized they are looking at their own reflection in the glass door.

I got half of my team to stand with me and predicted who will look to the left (the girls) and who wont (the guys). Well, needless to say, it was a rage. I declared that only girls look at the mirror when presented an opportunity. Foreign girls go out of their way to look at their image. Some of them actually stop and pose and stuff! Well guys dont look at themsleves. But this notion was ruined by the French and the Italian hunks who entered the building and not only looked at themselves but also fixed their hair. I am in the International Relations committee of RR and know these guys by their first names and nationalities. My next aim to find which part of what country they belong to. Btw, some Indian guys also looked at themselves as they entered. We now exercise caution against them. :P

Taking this research forward (yes, I am taking this very seriously) I conducted the same research in the break after the morning lecture. It turns out that lesser people looked at their reflection. So now I am very interested.

I want to conduct a full fledged research on this. Any corporate house interested in sponsoring this research (inclusive of the coffee bills) can contact me.

What good is this research gonna bring to the society you ask?

Well, due to the varied sample size - we can understand the impact of different cultural attributes on the behavior of the masses of different regions of the world and the different ways in which this impact manifests itself.

I have learnt in my 4 months of Design training that your answers to stupid questions must be more than 3 lines in length and equally stupid.

Anyway, I have solved the purpose of this post, which was to clean the webs hanging off its ceiling and treating you guys to some quality (?) blogging. Now that I saved the day, I should go off to my 3rd short nap of the day (I am making some kinda record here).

Thanks & Regards, (something I learnt here)
Chaitanya

Yours is Here: Dell Inspiron 1545

Its finally here! The day all of you have been waiting for. Okay, not you, but the day I was waiting for. After seven days (working days) of sleepless nights, my wildchild is here. The Dell Inspiron 1545. For guys who would like to buy something similar, here's the configuration and the price-



Processor: T6400(2.0 Ghz/ 800 Mhz/ 2Mb Cache)
Ram: 3 Gb
Hard disk: 250 Gb
Graphic card: 4500MHD Media accelator (32Mb)
Screen size: 15.6"
Bluetooth: Yes
Card Reader: Yes
Web cam: Yes
Wi-Fi: Yes
Colour: Red (Matt finish)
Price: Rs. 35,800 (Landing price) [Got a small discount]

Now that I have bored you enough, let me bore you a little more. Let me explain to you each and every term that I mentioned above.

Now, had I been yapping infront of a live audience, most of them would be asleep by now, but thats the real beauty of blogspot, I cant see you, so I can yap my way to glory. The last time I tried explaining stuff to my cousin, she got so annoyed that she locked me up in the spare bathroom (we have a huge house). I was in there for 3 days. I lost 5 kgs and my biceps are now 26" down from the usual 28".
On second thoughts, I think, I shouldnt be taking the risk of explaining to you guys the basics of computers, simply coz, I have a lot of female readers (all 3 of them), and they might end up doing to me what my sister did so successfully.

But I wish to share with you this incident that happened a few years ago. We- me and my college friend P- (on the rare days we attended college) were sitting in the computer lab in college.
P noticed that the PC's 80 Gb ram was full. Obviously, the official data, data as in Visual basic, C, C++ programs, excel sheets, word files etc was only 214Kb. There were around 50Gb of movies, 10Gb of episodes of 'Police chases gone wrong' and the rest were, well, hidden in the system 32 folder! Why hidden? If you are an engineer, then you know!

So P wanted to save this "important file"- 'comedy scenes from Marathi movies' on the drive. Personally, I dont see the need to watch comedy. Our college and professors provided generous offering of comedy. The file was around 1 Gb. "Disk full" popped up on the screen.

P: Abbe? Kya faltugiri hai! 80Gb hard disk bhi full ho gaya!
Chaitanya (Me): Aisa kya store kiya hai bey hard disk pe?
Check kar... Phir delete kar
Tere ko yeh comedy scenes kyun store karne ka hai lab PC pe?
Arre nahi toh bahut bore hota hai lab mein..
Already stored hai na movies, woh dekh...
Sab english movies hai... Aur ek bhi comedy movie nahi hai...
Hmm.. (Going through the PC) Kitna movies hai bey!
50Gb ka movies hai
10 Gb ka Police chases hai
50+10=60. Baki 20 Gb kya hai?
Arre programs, word files, excel files... kaam kiya hoga public ne..
Pagal hai kya? Itna kaam? Yeh dekh 214Kb kaam kiya hai sirf.
Toh baki 20Gb kya hai?
Ruk, files hidden hai..
Yeh kya hai. Saale System 32 ka files hai.
Itna Gb nahi hai System 32.
We played the first "hidden" file.
Shit.. shittt... bannnd kar saaleeee..
Arre ruk na.. ruk na..
Abbe koi aayega toh..?
Arre computer lab hai! Kaun aata hai yahan pe?
Saaleeee... band kar...
Abbe apaan ne thodi load kiya hai yeh sab files... Chal tere liye window chota karke dekta hoon..
The door opened.
Banndd kar saaalleeee...
Saying that I turned the switch of the spike guard off.
The door opened. We feared the worst. What if someone had heard the sound of the hidden movie. The probability of that was low though, the lab was AC and a thick door quarantined the room.
A girl entered. Probably a senior. Maybe from computers. I take this guess coz they had many pretty girls in IT and computers.
Thampi Sir?
Umm.. no, he's not here.
What are you guys doing?
We are working.
But the computer is turned off.
We were going to turn it on.
She gave us a look of suspicion and left.
Chal fir se On karte hain
Shot mat de saale.
Projector connect karte hai kya?
Saaaleeee...

Ah.. lovely days those were. Wonder if they will ever come back. Sometimes I wonder if we should have connected the projector. What would be the maximum penalty if we were caught? Was it worth the risk? How would it be to watch it on a projector? I guess I will never find out.

Anyway, this post got really senti for all the wrong reasons, I meant to write this post to update you on my laptop status (Not tht you care or anything). I have shared so many things with you, thought should share this too!

I make it sound like I am getting married!

Update: Inspite of the gentleman that I am, I forgot to thank all my friends who helped me zero in on this laptop - Hiren aka Lamda, Rishikesh Bapat, Rohit Gadre, Ameya Barve, Manasi Patankar.. Thank you guys. You rock :-)

Raka Calling....

Short Story

I dont like waking up early..Not one bit...Just like Obama doesnt like Osama inspite of having such similar sounding names..
I dont like early morning calls on my cell.. Not even on my birthday.. Well 8 in the morning is not exactly early morning, but what the heck!
Anyone who has been my friend knows this.. All my bday wishes start pouring in only after 10 am..

We gonna have a party..turn the music up..
lets get it started..go ahead n move your butt..

I hate my ringtone.. I mean Eminem's Shake that is good all day long, but early morning even he sucks.. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the caller id.. I looked at the watch.. 8 am in the morning..Who could be calling me at this unearthly hour..

Raka calling..



That sent my thoughts running..
Raka is the name I gave to Rakesh. Rakesh was in my college.. I hated him the first day I met him.. He was very in-your-face.. too bubbly if you may call a guy that.. His youthfulness pissed me off.. He would always be chirpy, even in the mornings...every 9am lecture he and the professor would be the only two guys awake in the classroom.. I soo hate early mornings.. More than that I hate morning people

We had different groups, his group was the nerdy one, mine was the influential one..I guess we became friends when my group had a fight with his group.. Like most fights I have no idea of the reason why we were fighting.. It wasnt like a fist fight, but I almost punched him in the face..

He was quite a character this guy Rakesh.. At 6'2" he was the only guy taller than me in the group.. He was what girls like to call tall, dark and handsome..He had this devilish smile which apparently was cute to girls..He was quite the smooth talker and would have girls falling for him wherever he went..the lucky devil.. Hence the name Raka.. Rakesh is too somber for such a character..

There were times when I was jealous of him sure, even after we became best friends.. but thankfully he went after the girls who I considered outta my league.. There was this girl who both of us liked.. When he got to know that he stepped aside.. He actually helped me write poetry (since I am emotionally retarded) for her. I consulted him bout what gifts a girl likes to receive and stuff.. I wanted to gift her an Xbox.. Raka suggested a pair of earrings..(yeah.. tht sounds better)

He had a heart of gold.. He would do anything for a friend.. Hes the one you want to be around if you get in deep shit in life ever...Raka was always up for some masti.. He did spend a small fortune on his friends everytime someone from our group topped an exam or something..Rich dad he must have I thought..lucky devil saala..

There were 6 guys and 3 girls in our group.. He knew each of our birthdays byheart. He was the first to wish me birthday every year, year after year.... Used to wake me up at 8 in the morning on my bday.. devil saala..

"Why do u have to wish me tht early..??"
"Cant wait yaar..Its like a habit..I gotta be the first one to wish you.."
"You have to change tht habit mate.."
"You know wht they say, old habits die hard.. Some habits dont change even after you go.."
"Go where? to the loo?"
"Yeah..... idiot...."

He was also the first to ask for bday treats.. I dont know how he remembered all those dates.. Even today if you ask me Rakesh's bday, I wont be too sure.. I know its in June or was it July? Btw, the girls got a return bday present from him, the guys didnt.. devil salaa..

Around the 3rd year of college, I noticed he was gaining weight..not the kind you gain on the holiday.. He was losing hair too.. He used to miss a lot of classes..
He seemed sick.. and it seemed chronic.. I did confront him.. I wanted to know what was wrong with him and why was he not attending the lectures...But then he would flash a smile and say something hilariously stupid and that would seal the topic for then..

Around the 6th semester he stopped coming to college all together..He wouldnt answer my calls, wouldnt reply to my messages..

One of our classmates used to stay near Rakas house, we got the address from her, and showed up at his house uninformed.. His mom opened the door..

Aunty, Raka home?
Raka?
Er..I mean Rakesh.. I am his college friend..
Oh.. Hes not here.. He is in the hospital..
Why? He sick? viral fever kya?

Tears swelled up her eyes..

I had known Raka for 3 years.. For more than 2 and a half years he had been my best friend.. But not once.. not even one time did he mention he was touched by cancer..

He had been undergoing chemotherapy for the last few months.. And he never told me.. devil saala..

Men have a weird way of showing hurt.. I didnt go to meet him in the hospital.. Everyone from my group and my class went.. His best friend in class didnt..

Then one day he called.. "Kya saale aaj kal milta nahi.."
They say grown men dont cry.. They were damn right.. I didnt cry.. neither did he..

I did go and meet him that afternoon.. 3 days later he left us... Everyone in our class cried...I didnt..

Its been 6 months since he left us.. I miss him sometimes.. But I dont cry..





My string of thoughts was broken by my mom - Your phone is ringing beta..Answer your phone..

I looked at my cell..

Raka calling...

Hel-Hello..
Hello beta.. This is Rakesh's mother calling..
Ah..hello Aunty..
Many happy returns of the day, beta..
Er.. thank you aunty, but.. but.. how did you know?
Oh..Rakesh had set an alarm on his cell for your birthday..So I called you on his behalf..

Tears ran down my cheeks..
Hes gone, but he was still the first one to call me on my birthday.. Devil saala..

The shy girl in my class...

Short Story

I still remember the day I first saw her. Its kinda amazing if you ask me. Its amazing coz its been 15 years since the first day that I saw her and I still remeber it like it was yesterday.

She was the perfect shy girl. The kind who hides behind her mother when guests come over... It was the first day of the first grade. I remember kids crying all around me. Some clung to their mothers, some threw tantrums. If I didnt know better, I would say they were going to whip us and make us work. But they didnt, actually compared to what I am doing now, those days were fun. Actually, compared to any days those days were fun.

She walked past me with her eyes fixed to the ground. Her bag was pink and so was her complexion. I love innocence. I guess all men do. I think we value it so much coz of our utter incapability to be innocent ourselves.

She went inside the classroom and took the first bench. I took the second. Right behind her. Then the teacher came and asked me to move to the last bench. I hate being tall. Apparently I was blocking the view of the blackboard for the guys sitting behind me. So I got up and took the last bench. And that was the end of that.

I strictly believe our choices dont change overtime. We like the same kind of people all our lives. If you dont agree, ask yourself who was your best friend in school and whos your best friend now (if both are the same guy, there are fewer people luckier than you), then try to analyse their qualities- you ll find that a lot of those qualities match.

I liked the same girl all my school life. People wonder when I tell them that I couldnt talk to her for almost all of primary school, except for the one time when we had an exam and I forgot a pencil. She was sitting three benches in front of me (the closest we had been till then). I got up from my seat and asked her for a pencil. She looked at me for around 4 seconds. Then quietly took out a pencil and gave it to me-

"This pencil writes very fast", she said.

Then I didnt know why she said that. But years later she told me that she had seen my mother scold me for not being able to complete the paper on time.

Now dont translate this into love. She didnt love me then. Maybe she liked me. But not more than that. I think till girls dont reach puberty, the only people they can love is their parents. I, i loved her. Men can love at any age. Infact men can love anyone at any age, maybe they are more individualistic or stuff.

As we grew up, her liking for me increased. Or maybe it was just my imagination. But I found her glancing at me. She now tells me that she used to glance at me coz I used to keep staring at her! It would be impolite for her not to even glance. We men are idiots, we give it all away.

As she grew, so did her curves. I would be lying if I said while looking at her my eyes or my mind didnt go astray. Puberty is such a gift. It suddenly gives losers like me, enough courage to say something that we have been wanting to say since like 7-8 years or something...

We were in the 8th grade I guess. I asked her to wait after school. Apparently I had some important stuff about Annual day that I had to discuss with her.

After school as I walked down the steps with her, I thought to myself - I can walk these steps all my life with her.

I held her hand, softly at first. She stopped but she didnt pull her hand away. Her eyes were fixed on the stairs. I thought of all the things I could say. You practise saying things in front of the mirror and stuff, but it just doesnt work. I thought of all the cool things I could say and then came up with this -

"I wish these stairs would never end."

Really! I came up with that. I was so proud of myself. She looked at me, then held my hand firmly. I took that as a yes.

Years later she told me that that line was the lamest excuse to hold her hand. I pity all those guys whom I have suggested this line. No wonder all my male friends are single.

After our board exams, we made sure we gave the same entrance exams. Both of us wanted to get into engineering. She got better scores than me (like always) and chose Electronics in a top notch college. I managed to get in Computers in the third best college in the area. She cancelled her admission, much against the wishes of her parents to be with me. She gave up electronics and took up computers for me. Remember I told you a girl loves only after a certain age? I knew that she loved me then.

We gave the CAT last year. She again got a better score and made it in MDI HR in the first round. I was lucky to get in in the last round in the same class. But I got in. Thank God for that.

Today, sometimes, when we go to mess together for lunch, she walks beside me...her eyes fixed to the ground... I whisper something in her ear and she smiles.

Even today when I look at her, I sometimes still see the same innocent girl I had met on the first day of school. Here we are now- we attended the same school for 12 years, then went to the same engineering college in the same class and now are in the same class in MDI. God had a script written for us, didnt he? I love the fact that there is someone who knows me more than I know myself. I hope someday I get to know her, better than she knows me.

I find it amazing... shes the same girl who once offered me a fast pencil so that I could finish my paper on time and not get a scolding from my mother... and here she is walking next to me to the mess of our MBA college. We walk up the stairs to the first floor mess and I say -

"I wish these stairs would never end."

And she bursts out laughing.

P.S. Dedicated to Ek and Sak (names abbreviated to protect identity) of MDI, Gurgaon who have been in the same class since the first grade, all through their engineering and now MBA. Someone wrote a script for you guys!

Btw, they are not my classmates as in I know them from my school days and almost always talk to them over the phone. This is more of their story than mine, hence the dedication. Goodluck guys.

Why does it rain?

Short story.

They lay on the terrace floor, watching the skies darken with rain-laden dark clouds. The Sun had been on a vacation since the last few days, the clouds had taken over.

"Why does it rain?" She asked, looking at the dark brown evening sky, which was darkening by the minute.
"You see, the south-west monsoon winds bring in water vapour from the Arabian Sea, it condenses.."
"You are such an engineer re," she cut him in between.

The thing with girls is, that they expect us to know when to be scientific and when to be romantic. He kept quiet, thinking what to say. The soft din of the vehicles on the road below filled up the silence. The problem with living in the city is, you never get to experience complete silence.

"He loves her," he says out of the blue.
"Huh?"
"You asked me why it rains, didnt you? It rains coz he loves her."
"He?"
"The cloud. He loves the earth."
"Oh. But then, where was he till now? I mean, why didnt it rain in the summer?" she asks innocently.
"He was always there. He was here since the earth was here. In fact, the earth was made because of him. The earth gave us life, but the cloud gave her life. And for that, she loves him. At the end of monsoon he leaves her for the cycle of life to continue, that is why you dont find him here in the winter and the summer."
"Ah.. I see."

The wind starts blowing, starts playing with her hair. She tries to fight the wind, unsuccessfully.

"When the cloud comes to meet the earth, he roars with happiness. Hence the lightening. And when he reaches her, he showers her with love. Hence the rain."
"Hmm. I get it."

She keeps looking at the darkening clouds, which have now started roaring. Then she looks at him, into his eyes and says -
"You know what I love?"
"What?" He asks with a hoarse voice, a voice which is expectant avoiding her gaze. She smiles mischievously.
"I love the smell of soil when it rains."

He relaxes again, knowing he is not going to hear his name in any sentence related to love yet.
"I love it too," he says.
"But I love something else too," he says looking at her.

Now it was her turn to avoid his gaze, tries to fill up the awkward silence with words...fails miserably.

"Why does he have to leave her?" She asks.
"Told you na, it's the cycle of life. That time spent without each other, strengthen their love for each other."
"I don't know. I don't want them to separate." She almost starts to cry.
"You would want rain all through the year?"
She remains quiet.
"Do you realise you will never be able to smell the first rains again? There might never be a first rain in the first place."

She keeps staring at the dark clouds which fill up the whole sky. The lightening flashes every now and then, illuminating her face, making her look prettier than she already is.

"Do you have to go then?" She asks in a voice that tells you shes having a tough time holding herself together.
"I am afraid I have to. I will be back before you know it."
"I will be waiting."

She places her head on his chest. He has the world. Her tears cant be held back. The skies crack up.
It starts to rain.

Finally its a welcomed break

So I am back. Not that I wasnt here already. Its just that I was living the zombie life. Our team was handed a short project which ended yesterday.

So, the last few days were really weird, working till 10 in the night, drinking loads of coffee with bhujiya (thanks Manali), downloading ppts, cribbing, cursing our luck and the people who came up with the idea of working altogether.

Anyway, we are now done with our project, and the Rolls-Royce plc Deutschland people are here. We decided to throw a double party - one to welcome them, the other to celebrate our success. We had a party the next the day too. I have no idea of the reason for the party, but who needs a reason?

The week before was so damn hectic that I was forced to ask myself - Where is the pause button on this damn thing?

After the last telecon, we were sitting at Lavazza Coffee in Forum (for the unknown - its a shopping mall in Bangalore), wondering what to do with our free time. It happens when you are not used to having free time.

This is an excerpt of our convo -

Me: Kal kya activity hai?
Rahul: I think kal kuch nahi hai.
Manali: Kuch bhi.. there has to be something.
Rahul: No, I think its like...er.. like... a holiday.
me: Really? Can anyone confirm that.
Akshay: Yeah. We have the next two days free.
me: two days?
Manali: 48 hours man.

This has to be the defining moment of our lives.

So I got really pumped up and came with a to-do list-
Things to do in the next 48 hours-

1. Clean the desktop. I dont know why there are so many icons on my desktop.
2. Cut your nails. As in my nails.
3. Read the newspapers. I have been stacking the newspapers since the last 20 days. There is a lot to read.
4. Watch a bit of TV
5. Clean the room. (I have started to sound like my mom now!)
6. Yeah, sleep for 10 hours (atleast)
7. Read blogs. Its been ages since you have commented on peoples blogs. People hate you now.
8. Watch the movies and the sitcoms you have been downloading since the last one month.
7. Teach the Germans Hindi.

Okay, I know my Hindi isnt anything to write home about (write in hindi ofcourse). But it is anyday better than them.

Btw, the other day, we had this football match against the normal Rolls-Royce Stress team (I make them sound so low-profile.. he he he). Now since we had Europeans in our team, we kicked butt. For all you desh-bhakts, dont worry, the HR guys beat us in the next game. But seriously, how did HR beat us, I mean, isnt that batch supposed to be full of girls?

I did an analysis and realised that it was because of lack of co-ordination (ah! Genius!)

But seriously, its because of the language problem. For eg -
When Vikram says - Abbe le, ball le..Nicholas thinks - Lays? I will have salted.

It has come as a surprise, but subconciously we use a lot of hindi words while talking to the firangs - like- aacha, hai na, nahi, chalo etc etc. And not that we dont know english, there are people here who have a 99% in Annual Review but still make the same mistake while talking!

So thats all about the two days of timepass that we did. Want to write more but am short on time. How much can one do in 48 hours anyway? Anyway, its raining out here. And I gotta rush to enjoy it. Unlike Mumbai, rain here, stays for around 148 seconds and then makes the next appearance in 5 days. Off to get wet.

Au revoir!

Pizza Hut Secret Recipe : Cooking for Engineers

Pardon the messy presentation, it tastes heavenly

Are you hungry?
Do you wonder how they make such yummy pizzas in Pizza Hut?
Do you want to try making the same yummy pizzas at home?
Do you think I am awesome?


If the answers to the above questions are in the affirmative, kindly read Pizza hut's secret recipe to making fluffy yummy mouthwatering pizzas.


Since this is cooking for Engineers, we will follow no measurements. As in, you wont hear me saying add 1 tablespoon of this or 2 teaspoon of that. Tablespoon and teaspoon is such a firangi concept. We will make use of desi concepts like - ek muthi bhar namak lijiye and stuff [Note: ek muthi bhar namak is not recommended unless you are cooking for an army and a half]. Okay that was a joke, no recipe is complete without a little firangigiri.


If men are reading this, let me tell you that cooking can be quite a turn-on for women. If you are an engineer and dont have women around (which in all probability you dont) then refrain from cooking this meal, else you'll end up turning-on your room-mates.


For girls reading this, I know what you are thinking - He's funny, he's hot and he even cooks! Can I add him on orkut? Can I get his number? Where does he stay?

I say, all those questions will be answered, but first, let us deal with the recipe.


Dough:
4 cups flour (maida)
1 cup warm water.
Dry yeast (half pack will do that is around 1 tablespoon)
2 tablespoons oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar


Put yeast, sugar, salt in a large bowl. Add water and stir to mix well. Allow to sit for two minutes. Add oil and stir again.


Add flour and stir until dough forms, make sure the dough is not too sticky. Knead like the dough is your boss. Throw in a few punches for good measure. After you are done, cover the bowl with a plate and keep it around some warm place (usually around the gas stove or near Salma Hayek, if she's around.)


Watch TV till the dough rises. After 15 minutes, return to the kitchen. Take out a ball of dough. and make it a perfect round with your hands. Take the microwave pan and pat some dry flour on it, so that the dough ball doesnt stick on it. Now make a thin circular base using your hands. Part one done. Pat yourself on the back. Enough. Now let us move on to the toppings.


Toppings:
Mozzarella Cheese
Tomato Sauce
Onion
Capsicum
Tomato
Mushroom


Pour generous amounts of tomato sauce and spread it evenly. [Actually PH guys make that sauce in-house, but we are lazy guys, so we will outsource it]. Spread finely shredded Mozzarella cheese all over the base. Now choose your toppings - I am a vegetarian, so I use fine cut capsicum, onion, tomato and mushroom. Place everything on the base. Take a lot of cheese and spread it evenly on the toppings. Remember that sticky threads of cheese they show on Tv? This is how they make it. Pour some olive oil (or any other oil, we are not that fussy, you see!). Once done, pat yourself on back again. Part two done. You are the king of the world! Get down the Titanic now. Let us proceed to the simplest and the most interesting part, interesting because you can go sit watch TV for most of it.


Baking-
Pre set the oven (on convection) at 240 deg Celsius. Put in the pan, set the timer to 9 minutes. Go watch TV. Come back after 9 minutes, remove the pan, careful! Its hot! Transfer the contents to a plate, cut into 6 slices, or cut into 4 slices if you think 6 slices is too much.
Part 3 done! Congratulations! The pizza is mouth wateringly yours. Dont forget to share the pizza with the people around you.



[Note 1: If you are sharing the pizza with your family members, friends, girlfriends, dont make the same mistake that I made, do NOT charge them, else you will end up with a black eye.
Note 2: Under no circumstances do you ask your sister/mother/girlfriend to clean up the mess in the kitchen. Else you will end up with two black eyes.]

A lot can happen over coffee : A twist

Scene 1:

Location: Nirmal Lifestyles mall, Cafe coffee Day

Timeline : Last year of college (2007)

Characters: Two cool college kids, Two weird office goers



Why are we alone?
We are not alone. We cant be alone if we are together.
Okay ass, I meant why dont we have girlfriends?
Oh, thats because the good ones chose the dorks
Yeah.. neckless, fat, geeky dorks
Hey! We can be neckless fat and geeky, if it gets us girls that is..
Well, we are already geeky..
I am not..
Yes you are..
Yeah I am.. I know..
So all we have to become is neckless and fat..
I dont think it is fair..
Even I dont think it is fair.. but what?
They show girls swooning over Hrithik Roshan on TV, but then they go and settle for dorks like these in real life. I mean, what happened to survival of the handsomest..
Yeah I know.. My mom says I look like Hrithik.
Dont take your mom too seriously..
Oh comeon.. I do!
No, you dont.. actually you do, only hes taller and more.. whats the word.. yeah.. awesome!
You sound like a girl right now..
I know, but you can definitely pass off as Uday Chopra..
Damn you..

Pointing to two office goers sitting at a table across the cafe.

Now look at those two guys there.. We look better than they do, dont we?
We sure do.. I mean we can beat them in the looks dept any day.
Yeah, look at them. Peter England office shirts, Arrow flat trousers and office handbag.
Looks more like a purse that handbag of theirs if you ask me..
They look as if they came with a tag - since 1929
Hehe.. good one.. And look at us, cool wrist band, Levi's jeans, Reebok shirts and i-pump shoes..
Hey when did you buy them shoes?
Monday.
And you didnt tell me?
Tell you? what are we? girls?
Oh yeah.. sorry. Are those guys waiting for someone?
Yeah.. I bet they have girlfriends too.
These guys? since 1929 guys? No way!
I bet 100..
Deal..

Just then 2 pretty girls entered the cafe and walked up to them. They could hear them.

"Shall we leave boys?", said the first one.
"We ll be late for the movie", said the other one.

The guys paid the bill and started moving out, with their respective girls.

See? See? Hail me as your king! Pay up you dumbass.
Damn you ass****

He removed Rs. 100 from his wallet and thrusted it onto his friend's palm.

He said the word "Damn" loud enough for one of the guys, who was now opening the door for his girl, to hear him. He looked back at the college kids and smiled. He pulled her close to him and whispered something in her ear. She looked back at the college kids and giggled. Then the four of them left.


Scene 2:

Location: Nirmal Lifestyles mall, Cafe coffee Day

Timeline : First year of the job (2008)

Characters: Two weird college kids, Two cool office goers



Hows work?
Cool. Hows yours?
Cool.
Hows everyone at home?
What? You never used to ask that!
Really? Hmm.
Got a promotion btw.
Hmm.. that means you pay for today's movie.
Damn you.
I paid the first installment of the car, did I tell you?
Hmm.. Your dad, didnt ask you to pay, did he?
No, but I thought I could pay half for him. That way it would be easier for him.
Hmm.. we are planning to buy a house too..
In Vile Parle?
No re, its out of reach now. Maybe in Thane. Now that I make money too, my parents can afford it..
Man! We are paying installements, buying flats.. We are growing up!!!

Pointing to two college kids sitting at a table across the cafe.

Remember when we were like them?
Whats with those shoes and whats with the hairstyle these kids have nowadays?
Yeah.. and look at their jeans. One more of his size can fit into those!! And they think they look "cool"!
Hehehe.. weirdos..
Its 6:45.. Why do they always have to be this late..
Its evolutionary.. Its in the bible..
What the? The bible doesnt allow women to come late..
Arre it does! Even the first woman "Eve" came only after Adam got really bored.
Hehehe.. Your sense of humour has gone down the drain.
Shut up dumbass..

Just then two pretty girls entered the cafe.
"Hello boys", one said.
"Are we late?", the other asked.
No babe.
"Lets leave, dont wanna miss the starting"

The guys paid the bill and started walking out when one of them overheard one of the college kid swearing at the other.He looked back at the kids, the kid wearing a green nike shirt thrusted a 100 rupee note in the hands of the other kid. He smiled at them.

He held her hand and pulled her close to him. He whispered in her ear -
"You see those two guys sitting there. I think, they had a bet whether we had girlfriends or not. The guy in the green shirt lost."
"How can you be sure about the bet thing", she asked.
"Coz I have been there "

She looked at him amused. She looked back at the college kids and giggled. The four of them left.
________________________________________________
I tried to experiment with some stuff here. If you notice, there are around 6 characters in Scene 1 and 6 characters in Scene 2, two of them are common. So in all, there are like 10 characters. I have tried to make sense without naming even a single character.Kindly let me know if this story makes sense of should I make it more understandable.

Physics is freaking awesome!

[Prologue: This post might be disturbing]

I woke up startled! "Physics is freaking awesome!" I said to myself. Was it a dream?
I had slept on my physics text book. The page 152 of the book was wet from my drool. It was a lazy afternoon and I must have dozed off while studying. My back was sore. I guess I slept in an unnatural position. The human body wasnt made to sleep on a study table with your Physics text book as your pillow.

But IIT entrance exams make you subject your body to a lot of inhumane stuff - like sleeping at 1 in the night and getting up at 6 in the morning, solving whole calculus problems in your sleep, skipping lunch and sometimes dinner to stay awake... Last night I slept for 3 hours instead of the usual 5 hours. My IIT-JEE (mains) exams were round the corner. I had it all planned. Engineering from one of the IITs, then MBA from one of the IIMs, then job at an American investment bank, Mercedes at 28, BMW at 33, a terrace flat downtown at 35. Its funny how well we plan our life. I had everything planned for the next 20 years when I didnt know what was going to happen in the next 20 minutes!

It was mid-May. It was around 7 in the evening. I looked out of the window. It was golden brown outside. It was lovely! There were dark clouds in the sky and the May Sun beat down on them to create nature's own soft light bulb.

I looked at my drool drenched Physics text book. It wasnt fair. I was just 18. These are the greenest years of my life... and I was spending them reading books and learning formulae. This is so damn unfair. I have to get away from all this. I got up, took my bike keys and opened the door and slammed it shut.

I put in the key and started the bike. I realised I had forgotten to take the helmet with me. Damn it, I thought. I was going on a short ride, I dont need a helmet. I raised the accelerator, to kick the bike out of inertia.

Page 109:
Inertia: Inertia is the resistance offered by a body when subjected to a change in its state of rest or of uniform motion.

Too much Physics does that to you. You start finding Physics in every damn thing.

It started to rain. Sparse but large golden droplets started to fall from the gold of the sky. It was like gold melting and falling down onto earth in small gold droplets.

I took the highway. I increased my speed. My hair were getting wet. The smell of wet soil was in the air. The water droplets hit my face, hurting it. Suddenly, I felt alive.

I see a truck trying to take a U turn, I apply the brake gently. A film of water formed on the tar road reduces the friction.

Page: 123
Friction: Friction is a force that resists the relative motion between two surfaces in contact.

I press the brake completely, but the bike wont stop. It skids on the wet frictionless road. I lose my balance. I fall on the wet tar road, the bike drags me along with it. It wont stop. It wont stop. Still no panic. The bike pulls me with it along the tar road, bringing me precariously close to the tyre of the truck.

The truck driver must have applied the brakes, but the momentum (mass x velocity) of the 50,000 kilogram truck kept it going.

Page: 146
Momentum: A measure of the motion of a body equal to the product of its mass and velocity.

It went going and going...till it came close to my head, till I could see the treads on the tyre, till I could smell the cow dung on the huge rubber tyre, and then...

Crunchhh...

What the ?? What happened to Newton's Third law of motion?!

Page 152
Newton's Third law of motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction!

If the truck exerted 50,000g (where g=9.8m/sec sq.) of force (Action), my head should exert that much force back (Reaction)! But that didnt happen now, did it? Newton was an idiot.. The third law of Newton sucks.. Just then it strikes me! Newtonian laws are applicable to perfectly rigid bodies. My skull isnt perfectly rigid... not even close! My brain lied splattered on the wet tar road. Broken pieces of skull stick to the tyre.

I thought to myself- Physics is freaking awesome!

[Note:It rained in Mumbai yesterday]

Anti-Maths Girl!

"Oh, I hate Maths, not that i m not good at it, I just dont like it.."

"hmm.. I kinda knew tht you were not a Maths girl.."

"Oh, whats a maths girl?"

"A Maths girl is the one who likes maths, they are kinda tomboyish and aggressive, u knw,they r not tht girlie.."

"hmm.. i see.. everything tht i am not?"

"Yeah :).. right! You are an Anti-Maths girl"

"hahaahahaha....And wht r they supposed to be like?"

hmm... Over that conversation, I realised I had identified one of species of the female kingdom.(bravo!)

Defn: An Anti- Maths girl is the one who is so by the virtue of not liking Maths, not necessarily because shes not good at it.. This kinda girl can be found outside most medical, biotech, bioinformatics colleges...Usually found where Biology rocks and Maths sucks, or simply where Maths sucks.

I have come to like them over the years.. Now that maybe coz there arent a lotta maths girls around, even if there are they are pretty much like us, and lets accept it, "us" arent that interesting.. "Us" are geeks, we are emotionally dyslexic (wht a term, ah.. genius), films like Kuch Kuch hota hai are as boring as calculus, come to think of it, calculus aint half as boring as KKHH.

So, I was wondering what makes me like the Anti-Maths girl..and this is what I came up with..

They are pretty! Yeah, very important trait tht And not only they are pretty, even their handbags, cellphone covers, pens, nail-polish, notebooks are pretty.. There is an overdose of colour there, and most of it is pink.. Ofcourse, its not just pink, its called "baby pink".. Theres something with these girls, they have to actually identify the shade of the colour.. So the pendant that she is wearing is not blue, but "turquoise"... Now wasnt turquoise supposed to be an animal? The one which goes into its shell when it senses danger and stuff? Oh wait,... thts tortoise!!

The kurti that shes wearing isnt brown, its "peach".. Peach? Peach is a fruit girl, NOT a colour!

Talking bout colours, anti-maths girls are the ones who can carry off "electric green" nailpolish on Tuesday, and replace it with "shocking pink" on Wednesday.. Btw, it looks good on them..

While we are still on colour, dont take an anti-math girl to shop with u..

"What coloured T-shirts you like.."

"er.. me? Well.. black and white, then brown, navy blue.."

(Looks at you bewildered)

"Those are not even colours!!"

bwahahahaha..everyone (including the salesgirls) laugh laugh...

And whats with the rings these girls wear.. they can wear one in every finger of their hand(including the thumb) and it still doesnt look that bad.. Actually it looks nice.. there is something bout metal and girls, cant explain in words.. But metal touching a girls skin is such a er.. ahem.. sexy sight.. But seriously, when you see men wearing ear studs or thumb rings, they look like, well, ugly..

Its not just the way they dress that we like, its also how they make you feel when they are around.. Like when they laugh even at your silly jokes.. I dont know how, but evolution figured it out I guess, and somehow allowed men to access the hidden reserves of humour inside them when a girl is around..

Its weird, but I feel when a man says he misses a girl, he actually misses her laughing at his jokes.. Its the most wonderful sound, guys should be allowed to tape the laughs of the girls they like and listen to it when they are down or alone..

Its funny what maths can do to your Emotional Quotient.. It just messes the emotional part of the brain... There are times when you dont understand why are you feeling so messed up and they can actually tell you what you are feeling and why in words that you never had in your vocabulary..

Most of these girls are smarter than us for sure, but they will never make you realise that.. They let you win arguments and two-player xbox games that you force them to play.. They use "how cute" and "how sweet" in every 5th sentence, and you try and find out what statement of yours made her say tht.. You make a mental note of tht statement and say it everytime you meet her only so tht you can get a "how sweet" again..

hmm.. there... I said almost everything I know bout the Anti-maths girl.. One of my frds got into a Phd prog today.. Now only if they had Anti maths girl as a topic of research.. Research sounds more fun when you like the subject, nahi?

Dr.Chaitanya Athalye, and how cool wud that sound..

P.S.

I thank all my guy friends for sharing their experiences over the years..

Disclaimer: No girls, Anti-maths or otherwise have been hurt in the process of this research...

They should put them in jail for that..

Short story back in the 9th grade, asking a girl out for a movie was a big deal.. Since the advent of puberty, your voice had already started to crack.. It cracked even more when you had to ask that cute girl out for a movie.. Now this is 1999 I am talking about.. It wasnt easy to get the girl u like to go out with you then,..... to be honest, its still difficult..

So you knew this cute girl, long hair, lovely eyes you could lose yourself in, got dimples everytime she smiled.. So if you wanted to ask her out for a movie, the conversation with her would go something like this -

"umm.. did you watch that movie - Dil Se?

"Note that SRK was her favourite actor, so it made sense to mention his movie, even though you thought the movie was a dud and you better spend the evening watching Undertaker wrestle Bam-bam-Bigalo..

"not yet"
"oh.. would you.. I mean.. like to" (the voice cracks up here) "I mean.. watch it with me..er.. this Sunday.. "

She suddenly realises that hes asking her out.. she turns on her girlie radar, which essentially means shes gonna act full bhavkhao..
"umm.. I dont know.. My dad wont allow..you know.. alone.."

They should put them in jail for that..

You wanna ask, how can we be alone if we are together.. But you dont..
"Oh.. but we are not going alone..Your friends are coming too"
An obvious lie.. But good thinking nevertheless..
"Who all?"
Think of names.. names..
"Suchitra, and Rajesh.. and Prajakta and..."
You name 5-6 names that you know are her friends..
"thats good, I think I can ask my dad then.."
Whoopieee...

What follows next is trying to convince the 6 friends of her (whose names you mentioned) to come with you.. You lure them with free popcorn (kamine kahin ke) and they finally agree.
Then comes the booking of tickets.. Note that this was the time when there was no online booking.. So you had to stand in a long queue to get the advance booking.. You manage to get 8 tickets.. You take great care to ensure that two out of them are corner seats..
"Uncle corner seats diya na?"
"Haan yaar.."
You hear him telling the next in line -
"Aaj-kal bacche bhi corner seat maangte hain" hehehe..

Finally Sunday arrives.. You get up early (which you usually dont), take a bath (which you usually do), apply half a bottle of perfume and reach the theatre..

She comes on time, but with her Dad in tow. Her dad drives his Maruti 800 (we had only Maruti and Fiat back then) in through the theatre parking and almost runs you down.. Now these dads are the villainous types.. The problem is they had been teenagers once and know exactly what dirty things go on in the scum brain of the testosterone driven monster who asked his daughter out..

Her dad steps out of the door of the car and slams it.. These dad types work as managers in a MNC usually, and wear a tie to work, but when it comes to meeting his daughters male friend, he wears the unshaven look and lungi..
"Pappa, hes my friend, Abhi"
You look at pretty her, then look at her Dad.. And you wonder, how could someone like him make something this beautiful..
"Halla"
"Hello sir.."
Women enjoy this.. They want you to meet their dads.. Its their way of saying - "See, this man is my favourite person in the world, and if you can stand up to him, only then you have a chance with me.. "

They should put them in jail for that..

You enter the hall, you make sure that you get the corner seats for yourself..You buy enough popcorn for her friends to be occupied... The lights dim.. Vicco Vajradanti ad plays.. The movie starts.. SRK starts jumping on a train.. Chal Chaiyaan Chaiyaan.. You are least interested in the song or in the movie for that matter.. You are interested in the cute girl sitting next to you.. You want to hold her hand.. no, not hold, just touch initially..

Clouds of nervousness loom over you, your palms become sweaty.. you wipe them on the thigh your jeans.. then all of a sudden, in a moment of gutsy drive, you touch her hand..

She pulls it back, almost like a reflex, then looks at you with wide eyes and a smile playing on her lips.. like shes amused, and she didnt expect you to do something like that.. Even in that dark hall, her eyes twinkle..

They should put them in jail for that..

The movie ends, you saw the movie only in bits and pieces, still it will be one of the best remembered movies of your life.. You start walking out of the dimly lit hall into the dimly lit parking.. When all her friends have left, she stands on her toes to reach your ear and whispers "thank you".. It will be ages before you understand the meaning...

Its 2009 and a lotta things have changed.. There are no single theatres now, Maruti has stopped manufacturing 800, popcorn is costlier than what was the ticket those days, even SRK sometimes comes up with meaningful cinema, but one thing hasnt changed, its still damn difficult to ask her out..

"Wanna..er.. watch a movie on Sunday?"
"Lemme see if I am free"
There she goes again..
"Oh comeon"
"hehe.. okay, which one?"
"How does it matter? hahaha
"It takes her a full two minutes to understand the joke behind that one...

She lands 4-5 playful punches, out of which two hurt..

Anyway, the movie starts.. Now that you are 24, you think it must get easier for you.. But it doesnt!..

You still get all nervous, your palms become sweaty.. It is still needs a lotta planning to put your arm across her shoulder.. You touch her hand.. this time she doesnt pull it away.. But she still gives that amused-mischievous look...Like after all these years she still doesnt expect you to hold her hand..

They should put them in jail for that...

The movie ends and the credits start rolling. You leave the hall with her.. You two walk through the huge driveway, sparsely crowded at this time of the night.. She walks closer to you than she normally does.. She holds your hand.. Theres something amazing bout that touch.. It seems to say that she trusts you and has complete faith in you... And it says that she knows you will keep her happy..

Her touch makes you feel strong.. responsible.. pure.. loved.. all at the same time.. as she walks close to you, holding your arm, she rests her head on your shoulder.. And you have the world..

"Thank you"... is all you can whisper in her ear.. She looks at you... smiles.. her eyes swell up with love... a drop finds its way to her cheek..

They should put them in jail for that...