If you want to get your clothes washed & dried while you are wearing them and if you are one of those lucky personalities who travel the lengths and breadths of mumbai (mumbaay as it popularly pronounced mostly by those who don’t get or don’t need to travel in trains!) ………
okay……. so i was on that ki how you can ‘wash & dry’……
its actually simple than one might think.
1) Just get in any train from suburbs like Dombivli, Thane, Borivli etc. going ‘up’ towards CST or Churchgate between 8.00am and 9.00am.(The timing is to be followed strictly to get best results)
2) Don’t go finding any seat because this not just another day’s journey towards your workplaces, its the ‘wash & dry’ outing. [if you sit then the washing machine may not be able to work to its best ability as not entire area of your clothing will be exposed to the 'washing system' of ''suburb special fully automatic EMU ('electro motive unit') washing machine''. ]
3) Now get in local train and stand in the main passage with all your determination and the belief that at the end of it you will be entirely different person! {i.e. with emu wash & dried clothes}.
4) Now entirely out of proportion number of wishful commuters with the same objective as yours will get poured in , carrying with them their luggage and baggage.
But don’t you hesitate because these thing are setting up the washing cycle.
5) Now the motorman will set the program for washing cycle to either prg 1 = multistage slow washing (slow train) or the prg2= few step quick wash (fast train) [note :its highly recommended for short distance commuters to go for prg1 since the get more whirlpools and wriggling movements due to 'population dynamics' when emu stops at all stations ].
For long dist commuters the prg2 will do because the lesser number of whirlpools and wriggling movements are compensated by the jerks and synchronized movements they go through during the emu passes from long distance of fast patch.
6) And finally now its the drying time.
Now the washing cycle bifurkates as most of the wishful commuter get down the dadar(w) and dadar central stations and they get the liberty of carrying out the ‘drying’ in the free open air.
Those who are left in emu have two options for drying; 1st:they have they whole blast of air coming in from emu washing machine door or then the automatic drying fans which are placed on the upper wall of emu machine compartment. The 20 minutes drying is good enough to complete the ‘washing & drying’ cycle as you get ready to get down at your work station (karma bhumi).
…………Not everybody needs to be the model who worked in the ad of ”livin” jeans to get their clothes washed this way!
N.B.- If unfortunately you are living in areas like dadar then don’t expect the quality results as mentioned in company booklet. Central Mumbaikars can go down side and then again travel ‘up‘ to get one cycle [Bandra to Dadar] in the fully automatic ‘emu’ washing machine.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Shaandar Hair Cutting Salon!
The name says it all! Its situated among one of the many boulevards that Thane boasts of.. This street near my place is full of such shops which some small time traders have set up. There are kutchis, Shettys, Guptas and Yadavs among others who have made this street what it is today.. Among all these shops is Shaandar Hair cutting salon
I have been going there since I can remember.. My dad used to take me there.. I always hated my long locks being cut.. I dunno why, but it felt bad...very bad...like... like someone died.. Maybe it was coz of the tajis* you get the next day at school, or maybe its coz your teacher wanted you to cut your hair short and threatened to tie you a pony tail if you didnt.. Somehow not doing what the grownups want you to do always seemed cool to me (i still find it cool!) By tht logic, cutting your hair was so UNcool..
tajis*- the ritual(?) tht involves slapping the back of the head of the guy whos got a fresh cut. Kids usually stop tht once they get into the 5th grade..Well, most kids do..
So the point is tht my dad used to take me to Shaandar Hair cutting salon every 5-6th Sunday.. I had to come up with like really silly excuses for not having my locks cut and my dad had to come up with like really silly anecdotes to get my dark long locks cut- "You look like a monkey with your falling on your face like tht" (Little did he know tht a few years down the line someone with the very same credentials will rock Bollywood.. yeah SRK! )
I have no idea why we went to Shandaar.. Maybe coz it was nearest from home about 5 mins walk and we still took our car..Yeah lazy we were!
So we would get into Mr.Yadav's (tht was his name if I rem correctly) salon. Mr.Yadav is this big paan chewing guy who has the mother of all beer bellies... His teeth were stained but tht didnt seem to embarass him coz he laughed heartily at any silly thing tht his "boys" said in their Bihari accent..
Shaandar cutting was a small place, you walked 6-7 steps inside and you would hit the wall & I am talking first grader steps. Once inside, it felt like a really cool place to be in with the blue coloured plastered walls, mirrors on the walls, hindi magzines like "Sulekha" or something, radio playing songs from the 60s.. Now I, like any other self respecting rap loving, eminem worshiping fan didnt like those songs, but there is something about tht place, you wanna sing along Rajesh Khanna when he goes "mere sapno ki rani kab aayigi tu..chalii aaaa tuu chaliii aaaa..."
Tht place had a weird smell.. The smell of henna, V-John shaving cream, pan parag (or whtever tht is tht he used to chew), Raj ratan red coloured hair oil, pan parag (did i mention tht already?). And thn all these smells amalgamated together to give your olfactory lobe a high of a lifetime..
Mr. Yadav's modus operandi was simple.. Get the scissors and get snapping.. "Sab Barik kar dena" ("Cut it all short"), was all my dad had to say.. and Yadav uncle would dutifully cut my hair short, real short.. But thankfully my hair grew at a rapid pace and there I was again after 6 sundays!
Then I got into the 8th grade, the grade when suddenly your appearence becomes important coz of tht girl you been eyeing and she probably likes you for your cool locks.. You cut your hair and all tht remains of you is, well, uncool.. And they call us "shallow"!
I started going to Shaandar solo, I noticed he had taken dad's "Sab Barik kar dena" very seriously.. It was time I made a few modifications to this statement..
"Uncle, Kaan ke upar ke barik kar dena, baki lamba rakhna" (Cut the hair around the ears short, and dont touch the others..)
He didnt seem to like this new "kaan ke upar..." thingy. I got this feeling that he loved the "Sab barik kar dena" thing.. That maybe coz he got more freedom to snap his scissors tht way..
"Arre garmi ke din hai, barik karva lo" (Its summer time, u better get a short crop), Yadav uncle used to say mid-January!!!
He kept cuttin my hair the way he wanted, which was real short, and I didnt like it too much... I just kept waiting for a better salon to come up near my place.
I stopped going to Shandaar once I got into engg. Another place had come up near my house. This place had an AC, and it didnt smell, it had english mags, it had lesser mirrors... And yes, no pan parag. The guy who worked there was all cool and stuff with highlights in his hair and used to speak broken english. V-John cream was replaced by Gillette foam gel, Hair gel had taken the place of Raj-Ratan oil, cable TV instead of the radio... In one word, this place was COOL..
The other day, the place where I go usually, was closed and I needed a haircut, so I decided to go to Shaandar..
The place still smelt weird. And yes, there was paan parag around.
Mr.Yadav wrapped a white cloth around my collar
"Kaisa hai?", Mr. Yadav asked.
The mother of all beer bellies had become even bigger, like when you felt there can be no one bigger than "undertaker" and then "Khali" walks in.. The teeth were stainier than ever.. He looked old, half the hair had gone grey, he looked weary too. The condition of the salon wasnt too good either, it looked like a whitewash would help.. Sumhow I got the feeling tht business wasnt too good..
I was taken back by Mr.Yadav's "Kaisa hai?". For two reasons- First, he still remembered me! Its been 3 years since I have been here.. Second, he asked "Kaisa hai?" insted of "Kaise hain?" (which imparts more respect). But this guy knew me since I was 3 feet above the ground, so I guess it was ok..
"Theek hoon.."
"Aaj kal aate nahi aap"
I realised he shifted to a more respectful form of addressing. Sumhow I didnt like it very much. I have been used to being called "tu" by this guy and then all of a sudden he shifts to "aap". It makes you realise tht on the outside you are a grown man to the world.
"er..er.. Bahar rehta hoon aajkal"
How could I come up with a lie tht unconvincing..
"Sahab (refering to my dad) aate hain kabhi-kabhi "
"hmm.."
"Aap bhi aaya karo.."
"hmm..aaonga.."
"Ab toh dadhi banvane bhi aa sakte ho!!! HA HA HA HA"
Stained teeth still didnt embarass him
"hmm..aaonga.."
"Kaisa katun baal? Kaan ke upar ke barik kar deneka, baki lamba rakhne ka na?"
He still remembered how I wanted my hair!!
"Nahi uncle, Sab barik kar do....."
I still remembered how he wanted my hair!!
I have been going there since I can remember.. My dad used to take me there.. I always hated my long locks being cut.. I dunno why, but it felt bad...very bad...like... like someone died.. Maybe it was coz of the tajis* you get the next day at school, or maybe its coz your teacher wanted you to cut your hair short and threatened to tie you a pony tail if you didnt.. Somehow not doing what the grownups want you to do always seemed cool to me (i still find it cool!) By tht logic, cutting your hair was so UNcool..
tajis*- the ritual(?) tht involves slapping the back of the head of the guy whos got a fresh cut. Kids usually stop tht once they get into the 5th grade..Well, most kids do..
So the point is tht my dad used to take me to Shaandar Hair cutting salon every 5-6th Sunday.. I had to come up with like really silly excuses for not having my locks cut and my dad had to come up with like really silly anecdotes to get my dark long locks cut- "You look like a monkey with your falling on your face like tht" (Little did he know tht a few years down the line someone with the very same credentials will rock Bollywood.. yeah SRK! )
I have no idea why we went to Shandaar.. Maybe coz it was nearest from home about 5 mins walk and we still took our car..Yeah lazy we were!
So we would get into Mr.Yadav's (tht was his name if I rem correctly) salon. Mr.Yadav is this big paan chewing guy who has the mother of all beer bellies... His teeth were stained but tht didnt seem to embarass him coz he laughed heartily at any silly thing tht his "boys" said in their Bihari accent..
Shaandar cutting was a small place, you walked 6-7 steps inside and you would hit the wall & I am talking first grader steps. Once inside, it felt like a really cool place to be in with the blue coloured plastered walls, mirrors on the walls, hindi magzines like "Sulekha" or something, radio playing songs from the 60s.. Now I, like any other self respecting rap loving, eminem worshiping fan didnt like those songs, but there is something about tht place, you wanna sing along Rajesh Khanna when he goes "mere sapno ki rani kab aayigi tu..chalii aaaa tuu chaliii aaaa..."
Tht place had a weird smell.. The smell of henna, V-John shaving cream, pan parag (or whtever tht is tht he used to chew), Raj ratan red coloured hair oil, pan parag (did i mention tht already?). And thn all these smells amalgamated together to give your olfactory lobe a high of a lifetime..
Mr. Yadav's modus operandi was simple.. Get the scissors and get snapping.. "Sab Barik kar dena" ("Cut it all short"), was all my dad had to say.. and Yadav uncle would dutifully cut my hair short, real short.. But thankfully my hair grew at a rapid pace and there I was again after 6 sundays!
Then I got into the 8th grade, the grade when suddenly your appearence becomes important coz of tht girl you been eyeing and she probably likes you for your cool locks.. You cut your hair and all tht remains of you is, well, uncool.. And they call us "shallow"!
I started going to Shaandar solo, I noticed he had taken dad's "Sab Barik kar dena" very seriously.. It was time I made a few modifications to this statement..
"Uncle, Kaan ke upar ke barik kar dena, baki lamba rakhna" (Cut the hair around the ears short, and dont touch the others..)
He didnt seem to like this new "kaan ke upar..." thingy. I got this feeling that he loved the "Sab barik kar dena" thing.. That maybe coz he got more freedom to snap his scissors tht way..
"Arre garmi ke din hai, barik karva lo" (Its summer time, u better get a short crop), Yadav uncle used to say mid-January!!!
He kept cuttin my hair the way he wanted, which was real short, and I didnt like it too much... I just kept waiting for a better salon to come up near my place.
I stopped going to Shandaar once I got into engg. Another place had come up near my house. This place had an AC, and it didnt smell, it had english mags, it had lesser mirrors... And yes, no pan parag. The guy who worked there was all cool and stuff with highlights in his hair and used to speak broken english. V-John cream was replaced by Gillette foam gel, Hair gel had taken the place of Raj-Ratan oil, cable TV instead of the radio... In one word, this place was COOL..
The other day, the place where I go usually, was closed and I needed a haircut, so I decided to go to Shaandar..
The place still smelt weird. And yes, there was paan parag around.
Mr.Yadav wrapped a white cloth around my collar
"Kaisa hai?", Mr. Yadav asked.
The mother of all beer bellies had become even bigger, like when you felt there can be no one bigger than "undertaker" and then "Khali" walks in.. The teeth were stainier than ever.. He looked old, half the hair had gone grey, he looked weary too. The condition of the salon wasnt too good either, it looked like a whitewash would help.. Sumhow I got the feeling tht business wasnt too good..
I was taken back by Mr.Yadav's "Kaisa hai?". For two reasons- First, he still remembered me! Its been 3 years since I have been here.. Second, he asked "Kaisa hai?" insted of "Kaise hain?" (which imparts more respect). But this guy knew me since I was 3 feet above the ground, so I guess it was ok..
"Theek hoon.."
"Aaj kal aate nahi aap"
I realised he shifted to a more respectful form of addressing. Sumhow I didnt like it very much. I have been used to being called "tu" by this guy and then all of a sudden he shifts to "aap". It makes you realise tht on the outside you are a grown man to the world.
"er..er.. Bahar rehta hoon aajkal"
How could I come up with a lie tht unconvincing..
"Sahab (refering to my dad) aate hain kabhi-kabhi "
"hmm.."
"Aap bhi aaya karo.."
"hmm..aaonga.."
"Ab toh dadhi banvane bhi aa sakte ho!!! HA HA HA HA"
Stained teeth still didnt embarass him
"hmm..aaonga.."
"Kaisa katun baal? Kaan ke upar ke barik kar deneka, baki lamba rakhne ka na?"
He still remembered how I wanted my hair!!
"Nahi uncle, Sab barik kar do....."
I still remembered how he wanted my hair!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
You know you are from Mumbai when....
You know you are from Mumbai when.....
1. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
2. You take fashion seriously.
3. You spend more time travelling than you send at home.
4. 9:47 fast, means something to you.
5. You think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...
6. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
7. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
8. Amitabh Bachans house is a landmark
9. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!
10. You refer to the city as Mumbai and not Bombay .
11. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing
12. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"
13. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
14. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains...
15. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
16. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
17. You can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.
18. Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.
19. When while giving directions you say "Right MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"
20. You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
21. When you think everyone who lives to the south (Mumbai) of you is a snooty and to the north of you sucks
22. When u c movie names like "Shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask what the name means
23. You consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
24. When "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word
25. Everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar and everything below is Madras
26. If someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...
27. When you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay... err.. Mumbai
28. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
29. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
30. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily-together!.
31. You have learnt how to stand in a queue
32. U treat mumbai as a country itself
33. When you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem
34. U want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..
35. You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Mumbai
36. When you allow complete strangers to spend the night in your house because its raining outside and half the city is submerged...
1. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
2. You take fashion seriously.
3. You spend more time travelling than you send at home.
4. 9:47 fast, means something to you.
5. You think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...
6. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
7. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
8. Amitabh Bachans house is a landmark
9. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!
10. You refer to the city as Mumbai and not Bombay .
11. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing
12. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"
13. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
14. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains...
15. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
16. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
17. You can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.
18. Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.
19. When while giving directions you say "Right MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"
20. You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
21. When you think everyone who lives to the south (Mumbai) of you is a snooty and to the north of you sucks
22. When u c movie names like "Shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask what the name means
23. You consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
24. When "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word
25. Everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar and everything below is Madras
26. If someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...
27. When you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay... err.. Mumbai
28. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
29. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
30. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily-together!.
31. You have learnt how to stand in a queue
32. U treat mumbai as a country itself
33. When you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem
34. U want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..
35. You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Mumbai
36. When you allow complete strangers to spend the night in your house because its raining outside and half the city is submerged...
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